i know who i want my new best friend to be

yes he's gay

well now i know two people who i want to be besties with
they are like such awesome people
like SUPER awesome. one is like my old best friend and the other is so full of wisedom

i heart those boys

AND I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE RUFUSES TO ACCPEPT THEIR OWN SEXUALITY
THAT IS SO ANNOYING
IT'S LIKE: WE KNOW YOU'RE GAY
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE
omg.

it was great

i was like happy for a change. everything was good and everything seemed to be in place.

BUT THEN I WAS WRONG

now i'm sad again, lonely, depressed, and like it's just so bothersome.

pretty eyes

people with pretty eyes are so lucky.

today while in sign language, i had to sign to this guy and we are not allowed to talk, only sign. so with that said we are suppose to make serious eye contact. well i had to partner up with this guy...and his eyes look like the sunsetting over the horizon of heaven so he's signing to me and of course i super daze out and freeze up. i'm sure i was only frozen for about 7 seconds but that seemed like an eternity i was willing to spend.

8]

i have actually been quite happy lately. um everything seems lighter now. like i dunno, it just seems right, like i dunno. not caring works. i'm soo much better. it's amazingly awesome

i decided

to take my friends advice and not trip.

i'm not going to get hella anygry at people who do me wrong. i'm pretty sure i'm taking his advice wrong, cuz i'm just going to keep fuckin with people's emotions until they feel as bad as i did. but you know what? that's life.

so from now on, i'm right no matter what. and things go MY way. and if not, well then i can find find other bitches

i can't

get in contact with my 'bestfriend'. fuck the best part i can't even talk to my friend

what the fuck is that shit

and i'm suppose to be ok with that bullshit? hell no. fuck no. mother fuckers

oh yeah it waaaay more than one

omg wtf

adjakldjao;ijadijdflsfsa;uhsio;fjw l; <- angry typing

assholes

my mother

seems to not trust me at all. i know i have given her reason in the past to not trust me, but seriously. i can't do anything without accusation of being on drugs or under the influence. what the hell, i'm not retarded. i don't want her on my ass every 5 seconds. the chick needs to chill. i'm not going to put my self in danger.

i'm not my sisters.

in a daze.

i like my best friend.

those are words no one should ever speak. but why is it that you know your best friend is always the perfect one for you? i dunno all i know is that i'm jealous as well as scared. you dont want to lose someone that you know you cant have. you want to have to them forever. but forever gets shorter everyday

past loves

wow you know how you decide not to speak to someone after you end a relationship with them? and then by some cruel twist of fate, you see how well they are doing. i hate that. i super hate that. i want to re-introduce myself with someone, but knowing that they don't want anything to do with me. sometimes it hurts, esspecially when you know it's your fault. but i need to know it's for the better

sometimes i wish we could know what other people are thinking. then that way i would wonder so much. i would have my answers. but i don't. i get to keep guessing.

just me

my name is Kristina. I just turned 18. I regret too much for my age and fear even more. i don't like the life i'm living but i don't know how to change it. i love my friends as if they are my family, so when they do something to hurt me, i suffer. i don't know what else to say right now. see you in the future