Shadowland

this is me talking about nothing:

today was so fucking long like omg
you don't even know
and now i don't ever want to go to school
but it's too easy like
i wont drop out simply because its easy enough for me to do everything last minute and still pull A's
that's kinda sad
so
just gotta hang in there

i hate this phone SO much
i want my purple phone back 8[

i hate pretending nothing is wrong until someone says there's something wrong and then you still have to pretend

i feel an emotional breakdown approaching
and I'm like
fuck that shit
i just don't want to
for some reason

uuuuuuhhhhh
people need to stop thinking that the world revolves around them
like, it's acceptable to a certain point
like when you take it seriously, that's when it needs to stop

but other than that


life is retarded
makes you wonder what the fuck we are doing here

[so testosterone boys and harlequin girls]

is it possible to be shallow AND self conscience?
does it make sense to think you are unattractive but at the same time judge someone else looks?

i know it's not
i see it every day
but i don't understand whyyy
if you don't like you, why should anyone else OR why should you have the right to judge someone else's looks?

hmmm
think on it

but in other news...
i don't think i have other news

still like him though he still doesn't know
and i plan on keeping it that way

heartbreak hotel

i getting the key
locking it up
put it in a box
burn it
scatter the asshes across the sevens seas

and what may this key go to?
why, my heart of course
instead of thinkin of having a chance with him,
im gonna quit now
EVERYBODY WINS

Right Round -> Everybody Plays the Fool

it kinda came back to me
but not in a way in which i could be hurt
it just came back at me like i was the one who was wrong like i was the one who made the mistakes

umm
apparently i don't have a heart...
i don't know how to really feel about it except for being confused
i think instead of people actually realizing that they were wrong, they just tell me that I'm a bitch and don't care how people feel
because really no one has moved on, but just living in the moment that we should have forgotten by now
i think that is it : instead of saying "oh i was a dumb ass. i was emotionally blind" they are doing "oh it was just a mistake...it wont happen again...oh he is going through some hard times..."
NO
that is not what is happened
he moved on
he didn't learn
he didn't care
and i HATE talking/thinking about him
but honestly [I'm not done]
OK liiiiike he was exposed to his mistake and then blew the shit off
then ask for pity, GOT IT, then walked off
now i am the one who is heartless because i don't care
because i was the one who fell over and over and over again for the same routine
but now I'm mad because he still doesn't care about i feel
like after all of this he still doesn't truly know what i think
he thinks I'm mad at , which i am, but he doesn't even know why
and to me
that is like pretending i never even mattered

that's what friends are for

OMG
o m g
today i realized that i really want my best friend back
not that bitch jon we're done
but aaron james francisco concepcion soriano
that fool
we were tight ass bitches

and i now know [not that it matters] why

nothing mattered.
with all my other friends it's always relationships, drama, money, looks, grades
everything in the world that you have to escape to have fun
but when i was with him
it didn't matter
we were just fine everything was just for fun
and now i don't have that anymore

im not gonna lie
i miss him
i really do
but i can't his friend due to the fact that he is a bitch now
he thinks like other people now
he's not him anymore
and now
well that's it
forget the goos times
and move on

='[

i'll be in the skyy

-B.o.B

his newest song has really inspired me
to stop caring about life

cause we are all gonna die
who is going to care about some bullshit drama
or anything else

i dunno kinda emo when you think about it
but seriously

no more trippin
no more thoughts
or caring

because we are living to die, so why die to live?

ah ha