Track 01 - who am i?

im 18
thats my story and im stickin with it

im 18 years young and i'm not allowed to leave the house
during summer vaycay
i will admit i didnt pull the best grades last semiester [3 A's and 1 C] but they [parents...or anyone in my house] don't know that

they don't know anything about me

they don't know that i'm INFURIATED about how karrin got a laptop for school and i didnt [not because im jealous, but because it was her grad gift and my mother ruined my graduation]
they don't know that i HATE my school and i now i can do better [because i did]
they don't know that all day they imply im stupid and i don't know anything [they also don't know that really hurts]
they don't realize how they won't let me drive now. at one point it was there fault, then mine, but now it's them again
they don't notice they need me. i am essential to this house. i keep it running at the end of the day
they don't see how i need space to live and learn, not stay here

i wanna liiiiiiive

i can't go out more than once a week, i'm not allowed to talk on the phone between 11pm and 8am, i cannot litterally stand right outside my house at 11pm and talk with my friends
-and that's also during summer vaycay

I'M SUPPOSE TO GET A JOB BUT IT CAN'T BE FURTHER THAN 10 MILES OF MY HOUSE W.T.F.

they want me to grow up within what they see fit

i know it's because i can't drive, or i didn't get and ELC number, or because i don't show emotion, or made mistakes in the past

i know my parents are dissapointed in me. they don't like me. and i know it.
i really honestly know it.

other times living on the street would be more enjoyable than here
but im to much of a bitch to do it

but one step at a time kristina. this life isn't one that should belong to me. i am a different person than who my parents think i am. or who they made compare me to

im kristina rene motha fuckin west
purple queen bee
the DeeVha
ex best friend of many many people
the ex Karen to my ex Jack
the ex Grace to my ex Will
future trophy wife
the next broadway star
future award winning OB/GYN
a bitch
a friend

me.