to follow up on the last entry, those unsaid comments are what caused my break up with my friend. by not saying what WE needed to say, we never got each other.
now that's all i want to do ask him my questions and get some answers i feel like i deserve them
but that ain't gonna happen.
because i have been beaten to it
there are conversations that occur. i want to know what these include. i need to know
in my mind i have the perfect breakdown prepared, but in my mind i already know it won't work , so in my heart, i'm devastated and confused. slash that. i'm really not. i'm mad.
yeah
mad.
mad because now i am seen as the heartless one all over again-mad because it's always something i bring up-mad because i hate it when it's the only thing people can talk about-mad because i want them to bring it up so i can prove over and over and over and over how i was the victim and not the culprit-mad because it kills me about how much time i waste on this
most of all i'm mad because i haven't done anything to end/solve/fix/forget about it
but i tried!
i'm =] to say that.
but until then i'm still at the point where i don't know what i want and what i think i want is what i really need
w.t.f.
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