ffuucckk....

Sorry but I just have to address this issue once more
I’ve never seen an epidemic at this level before.
Oh what will I be discussing today?
It’s all about that SEX baby!
But not my experience, on no, my life and how sex is semi-holding be back.

In this excerpt, I will first talk about pre-incident and post-incident views
Hopefully it will make sense

Ok so I’m a virgin. By choice. Mine.
And I’m ok with that, I’ve don’t almost everything else there is to do, except insert someone’s P in my V.
Why? Well I had two reasons why: no sex before marriage and the ‘right guy’
I honestly was waiting for marriage. For some reason that just seemed right, yes that would be the Christian me talking. So I was content with that idea. However, if I were to be a relationship with someone that I felt comfortable with and trusted, I would be willing to put my virtue on the line.
With that being said, I went to my friends for advice.
I have never been shot down so quickly.
My whole ‘abstinence’ thing was merely a joke to them, considered foolish even. Made me feel somewhat lame. But the ‘right guy’ theory wasn’t any better. They believe that it isn’t possible to wait that long and if you wait for the right person, you’ll be waiting forever.
AT THIS MOMENT, I FEEL IT IS VITAL TO MENTION THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF MY FRIENDS ARE GAY DUDES
So they don’t have the marriage option, and face it, gays are kinda whore-y.
But to say there is no right guy is just rude. I just don’t wanna fuck some random guy I barely know just so I can say I did it. Nu-uh I actually wanna like that person and have a bond of some sort between us.

I n c i d e n t .

so after my little “encounter”, my thoughts on sex completely changed. Now I feel that sex is just a painful ritual that I have no control over. And I never wanted to experience it. But for some reason, people are so hype over the idea. It seems impossible to date anyone anymore without putting out on the first date (assuming you made it that far). I always feel pressured into situations that I don’t want to be in or a part of. I want someone to like me. I want a relationship. I don’t want a fuck buddy. Not my style boo boo. Keep it mind that I am still waiting for my Prince of Passion.
Much after much mental reconstructed, I changed my views ever so slightly
I no longer am waiting for the right person, buy rather the right moment I figure that if I am with the right guy, then the moment will feel right. If I can manage to trust myself to trust him, then I know that I am doing what’s best for me. I like this idea a lot because I know I am still gonna want to actually fall in like with someone first. The time will come, but I’m really in no rush.
I’m also just not going to talk to anyone who has pussy on their mind all-the-time. I don’t want to feel used, played, or like a tool. I am a woman, a living human being, and you’re going to respect that.


In all seriousness, people are just putting the pussy on the pedestal. I’ve heard that I’m making a big deal out of it by waiting for so long, but really I’m not. If you are constantly searching for someone to bang, you have an addiction my friend. Your dick/pussy is controlling you, you aren’t controlling it. I was able to wait this long, you gave in.
I’m not saying that everyone who has turned in their v-card is a whore; I just wish people wouldn’t view me as the freak for still holding on to mine with caution.
I have damn good reasons to do so now, and really I am at a huge disadvantage.
But I’m not in a rush at all. I still have a lot of repairs to do, and sex is going to fix any of it any faster.

Ciao per ora