Samara and I

krisekris: i just need you to acknowledge i am here

themadisonprjct: why?

krisekris: to feel alive

themadisonprjct: well, i know ur alive

Samara from The Ring. Yes the creepy bitch. We have something in common. We both want to been seen. Want to be heard. The desires to be notice. She killed people thru television which is so wrong. I don’t murder people, I kill myself.

A bad habit of mine is to seek attention in who ever. As long as someone is saying something positive about me, I will stick with them no matter what.

I have a myyearbook because they are a bunch of strangers who on a daily basis call me beautiful. I don’t take it too seriously because I know they also want me to send pictures of my exposed body. I don’t, I just drain them of compliments until someone else comes along.
this is a mild form of my addiction. Yes addiction because I honestly can’t stop. To have the feeling of being wanted is so gratifying that I don’t wanna stop it any time soon. Those boys, make me smile sometimes.

But then there’s the guys I actually know: ml mi mw ab and more they were so mean. Literally using my body for temporary entertainment, saying nice things that I took seriously, then hurting me when they were done. I was there "go to ho".
But I stayed because they listened to me. they would respond to me. they made me feel wanted. They wanted me…just not the way I wanted them too. And its awful, I’ve made it a habit to associate myself with people who don’t like me, but express their dick devotions to get me to do want they want. And I willingly go, because they make me feel kinda special.

But that’s gotta stop. Like now. It’s over. If someone can’t respect me, then they don’t deserve me at all. I wanna say that I’m officially done, but I know I’ll slip in the future, it’s kinda my thang. But I’m super gonna try! Promise.